Life During and After Faith Reconstruction

This is not the end.

Surviving church hurt, spiritual abuse, and/or religious trauma is no joke. If you’re here today, know I’m proud of you.

  • I’m proud of you for taking the first step toward healing.

  • I’m proud of you for questioning a system you were taught never to question.

  • I’m proud of you for your willingness to look at Scripture, God, Jesus, and the church through different lenses.

  • I’m proud of you for surviving.

My Life Before Deconstruction:

For the first several decades of my life, I mistakenly believed:

  • God’s love for me was contingent on my behavior.

  • When bad things happened, they were a result of my actions.

  • I had to be selfless in all things.

  • The more I did in the name of God and church, the more favor I earned from God and others.

  • To pray about it was more important than actually doing something about it.

  • Christian people were good people.

  • Salvation was a result of fulfilling five steps.

  • Anyone who didn’t go to my church/brotherhood of churches was going to hell.

  • Sex before marriage resulted in God punishing you and your future marriage.

  • All you needed to do was marry a Christian to live happily ever after.

  • Abstinence ensured a marriage blessed in every area.

  • It was the woman’s responsibility to dress modestly so she wasn’t a stumbling block to men.

  • God was the authority over all. Men were the authority over women. Women were the authority over children.

  • Women were not made for leadership because they were too emotional.

  • My identity was in Christ, and to have my own identity was sinful.

Does this sound familiar to you?

This faulty theology didn’t come without lasting effects and damage I’m still healing from. For me, this damage looked like:

  • A compulsive desire to monitor my behavior consistently.

  • An unhealthy fear of hell and fear of whether I was actually saved.

  • A constant struggle to believe that God and people can and do love me unconditionally.

  • A complete lack of my own identity.

  • Inability to identify my wants and needs.

  • Denial of self-care.

  • Inability to set boundaries.

  • A propensity toward codependency.

  • Misunderstanding Sexuality.

  • Mistrust of Self.

  • Skewed Perception of Marital Roles.

It’s been quite the journey, and for the longest time, I didn’t think I was ever going to make it out of the messy middle. 

But, I did.

And, you can too.

Friend, if you’re here today because you are a survivor and you are ready to sort through the rubble of your deconstructed faith, I would love to help you.

If you want to start this journey on your own, I’d love to send you a 7-step guide to help you on your journey. 

Would you like a personal guide for this journey?

RECONSTRUCTING YOUR FAITH DOESN'T HAVE TO BE IMPOSSIBLE!

But, if this feels like A LOT, and you would love someone who has been there to walk through this journey with you, I’d love to be the person to walk through this with you.

Remember, friend, you don’t have to do this alone.

I'd love to chat with you about your journey. You can book your FREE 15 minute coaching call with me here!

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