Your Past Does Not Disqualify You From Your Calling

August 18, 20264 min read

Growing up, my parents used to “joke” about the idea that my brother got the brains in the family, and I got the personality.

If you’ve been through therapy, you’re probably cringing right now. I cringe every time I tell the story, and then I qualify it with, “Don’t worry. I graduated therapy.”

While we might not realize it when we’re in the midst of it, each and every one of us has been influenced by a ridiculous amount of voices telling us exactly who and what we are supposed to be. When I think back over all the voices I’ve given power to in my head, I can still hear them clearly — years later.

Some of them were in the church.
Others in school.
Many from my family.
Some were from people who called themselves “friends.”
Others from love interests.
And many from the media.

Each voice added another layer to my idea of who I should and shouldn’t be, who I could and couldn’t be. Some were encouraging, while others were discouraging and even prohibitive.

When Other Voices Get Louder

I work with a ton of faith-based female authors. Almost all of them have been in the church their entire lives. Of those ladies, nearly all of them struggle with the same things in their writerly lives. Without fail, they can create the social media pages, they can find their way around Substack enough to create their Stack, but when it comes to publishing their first post or article, something keeps their hand hovering over the keyboard.

Those voices telling them to stay small, to never self-promote, to be seen and not heard, and to submit are paralyzing.

The ones who have told them they aren’t smart enough, they didn’t go to school to learn how to write, and they don’t have enough letters after their name are silencing.

And, still, those others who simply tsk tsk in disappointment with their lies of “if they really knew who you were and what you’ve done, they’d never listen to you” drown out everything else.

Before long, God’s voice is written over with all these other voices, His calling reduced to notes in the margin, as doubt, shame, panic, and fear write over the story He has written for them.

If anyone had a reason to look back at his past and stop dead, feeling unqualified, ashamed, and afraid, it was Paul after the road to Damascus. His past included actively persecuting the very church he would eventually serve. If anyone could have looked at his history and thought, There is absolutely no way I am the person God should use for this, it was Paul.

You know what God didn’t require Paul to do, though? He didn’t require him to somehow fix, erase, or make sense of his entire past before calling him forward.

Replace “Should Have” With “Will”

If you’re sitting there right now overwhelmed by all the voices in your head telling you that you are not enough, that your past has disqualified you, that you don’t have enough education, or that you have nothing to say, I pray my voice is louder today. More importantly, though, I pray that God’s voice is louder.

Let this be the moment when you embrace the calling and decide to steward it well.

It’s easy to live in the world of “would have, should have, and could have.” Today, though, let’s replace each of those with one simple word: will.

If the past is tripping you up and you are living in shame, what will you do to stop letting it determine what comes next?

If you feel unprepared to fulfill your calling because you don’t have the training, what will you do?

If you are afraid to go all in, what will you do to replace the fear with courage?

Today is the day we quiet the external voices telling us we aren’t good enough, smart enough, or qualified enough to do the thing God is calling us to do.

Today is the day you stop looking back and start looking forward.


Reflection Questions:

  1. What voices from your past still influence what you believe you are qualified—or unqualified—to do?

  2. Where have you allowed your lack of education, experience, success, or a complicated past to make you question something you feel called to pursue?

  3. What is one “would have, should have, or could have” you can replace with “will” today—and what will you do next?


Kristen Neighbarger

Kristen Neighbarger

Kristen Neighbarger is a writer, speaker, and faith coach who helps spiritually weary women breathe again. After years of performing, people-pleasing, and pretending she was fine, Kristen found herself unraveling—and slowly rebuilding a faith that could hold both her questions and her hope. Through honest storytelling and practical tools, she creates space for others to wrestle with what they’ve been taught, name what they actually believe, and move forward with gentleness and intention. Whether you’re wandering, wondering, or just worn out, Kristen’s words will remind you: you’re not too much, too late, or too far gone. She’s the author of Breathing Again and the creator of The Soul Seat—a reflection guide for those learning to live, grieve, and believe with honesty. Writing weekly on her blog and social media channels, Kristen helps survivors of church hurt, religious trauma, and spiritual abuse heal and find peace in their faith again. She balances deep dives into scripture with narratives from her own life and church experiences, always connecting with her reader and making faith, the bible, and her teaching relatable and applicable to today’s world.

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