How Writers Can Handle Haters: A Practical Guide

As I wandered up from my basement office, I started pulling out the Hello Fresh ingredients for dinner. To add some background noise while I cooked, I turned on the TV.

Within minutes, a news segment caught my attention. The anchor was discussing a note left at a local Mexican restaurant. Since I love both Mexican food and a good mystery, I was immediately intrigued.

But when I looked up at the screen, I realized this wasn’t a feel-good story.

The note wasn’t a generous, life-changing tip or a heartfelt message of appreciation.

Instead, scrawled on the restaurant receipt were the words: “I hope Trump deports you.”

Stunned, I grabbed the remote to rewind and catch the full segment, hoping for context. But there was none. Someone had simply chosen to leave a hateful message for the same people who had just prepared their meal.

As the story unfolded, I learned that the restaurant had shared a photo of the receipt on social media, quickly amassing over 8,000 reactions. While the news channel blurred out the name on the receipt, the restaurant did not. Shortly after, the woman’s employer contacted the restaurant to inform them she was no longer employed.

This situation, as awful as it is, highlights an important reality for anyone in a public-facing role—including authors and content creators.

Haters Are Inevitable—Here’s How to Handle Them

If you share your words publicly, you will encounter criticism. It’s not a matter of if but when.

• Haters will comment on your posts.

• They will leave negative reviews.

• They will create their own social media posts to criticize you and your content.

And if you think you’re exempt because you write for a Christian audience, think again. Some of the nastiest comments I’ve ever seen have come from individuals claiming to love Jesus. Unfortunately, religious communities can sometimes wield “truth in love” as a weapon, completely out of context.

So, how do you protect your heart and your work from this negativity? Let me share the strategies that help me navigate these situations.

1. Run Their Comments Through the Truth Test

When someone leaves a negative comment, take a deep breath and step back. Objectively assess their words by asking, Is this true?

• If the criticism is valid, consider how you can grow from it.

• If it’s false, discard it and move on. Don’t give it power over you.

2. Set Boundaries

Your creative space should be protected. If someone repeatedly spews negativity, remove them from your sphere.

• Unfriend or unfollow them.

• Remove them from your email list.

• Block them if necessary.

This isn’t about avoiding constructive criticism—it’s about refusing to engage with toxic behavior.

3. Pray for Them (and for Yourself)

I’ll be honest—my first instinct isn’t always holy. I’d love to pray that a bird poops on their head or that they get a flat tire (without injury, of course).

But that’s not what Jesus meant when He said to pray for those who persecute you.

Instead, I try to pray for their healing and for God to reveal any blind spots in my own heart. It’s hard, but it’s necessary.

4. Recognize That It’s Not About You

Thanks to therapy, I’ve learned that people’s hateful actions usually have very little to do with me and everything to do with them.

• They might be carrying unresolved trauma.

• Something in my content may have triggered a personal wound.

• They may simply be unhappy and looking for an outlet.

Recognizing this truth helps me separate their words from my worth.

5. Keep a ‘Do Not Collaborate’ List

This might seem harsh, but it’s necessary for me and my audience.

I write for survivors of church hurt—people who have already endured enough cruelty. If someone consistently spreads negativity, I make a conscious decision to disengage.

• I won’t join their Facebook groups.

• I won’t promote their work.

• I won’t recommend them to my audience.

If they treat me this way, they’re likely doing it to others, and I won’t contribute to that cycle.

What About Apologies? In my experience, true apologies from these individuals are rare. If it happens, I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Until then, I’m protecting my space.

Final Thoughts

I hope you never have to deal with the kind of hate I’ve encountered. But if you do, I pray these steps help you navigate it with wisdom and strength.

And if you ever feel tempted to leave a harsh comment yourself, I hope you remember what you read here today.

I’d love to hear from you—what’s the worst hater experience you’ve had, and how did you handle it?