A Seat at the Table:
Thanksgiving and the Power of Making Room
My entire extended family comes to my house for Thanksgiving.
It’s a labor of love to rearrange furniture, set up folding tables, and make space so every single person has a seat. Over the years, I’ve learned to spread the prep out over several days so my immediate family stays as sane as possible.
Even though I’m sure it would be astronomically easier to only host my immediate family, that’s never crossed my mind.
I don’t need a smaller family.
I just need a bigger table.
From Faith Reconstruction to Bigger Tables
For the past three years, I’ve been writing for survivors of spiritual abuse and religious trauma—those who have deconstructed their faith and are trying to rebuild. Many were hurt by the church, faith communities, and religious leaders. They found themselves without a place to belong—without a seat at the table.
More and more lately, I’ve been looking at both faith communities and the wider world and thinking: we all desperately need bigger tables right now.
While I’m not leaving behind my faith reconstruction folks, I’m expanding the invitation. A Seat at the Table is for anyone who has ever been left out—or who longs to create space for others.
How Luke 15 Shaped This New Direction
For the past couple of years, I’ve been working through the Gospel of Luke, examining who Jesus was and what He did while on earth. I made it to chapter 14 before pausing for my summer sabbatical.
When I returned, I opened my Bible to Luke 15 and was met with this:
“Many dishonest tax collectors and other notorious sinners often gathered around to listen as Jesus taught the people.” – Luke 15:1 TPT
I actually laughed out loud.
I’ve often joked that I wish God would just send me an email with clear instructions. While I’m still waiting on that first email, lately He’s been sending billboards.
This verse was one of them.
The Problem With “Change First, Then You’re Welcome”
I’ve heard endless explanations for why Jesus spent time with “sinners.” The most common?
That He was only there to get them to change their ways, repent, and follow Him.
But the more I study Jesus, the more I see how shallow—and dangerous—that perspective is. It reduces His love for people in the here and now and turns hospitality into a transaction.
It’s easier to focus on salvation than service. It shifts the responsibility to “them” instead of challenging us to love our neighbors as ourselves.
And before long, we’re only making room for those who look, think, and believe like we do. We overcommit ourselves trying to “earn” our own seat—until we’re so exhausted we’re not sure we even want one anymore.
How Jesus Modeled a Bigger Table
Luke continues:
“This raised concerns among the Jewish religious leaders and experts of the law. Indignant, they grumbled and complained, saying, ‘Look at how this man associates with all these notorious sinners and welcomes them all to come to him!’” – Luke 15:2 TPT
He welcomed them all.
He built a bigger table.
We’re living in a time desperate for that kind of hospitality—for faith communities and neighborhoods where everyone belongs: the misfits, the marginalized, the misunderstood.
Meeting You Where You Are
When I say there’s a seat at the table for you, I mean you—no matter where you are in your faith or life right now.
Quiet Questioner – You’ve got questions no one seems to want to answer honestly. You’re curious, cautious, and committed to wrestling with what’s true, even if that makes others uncomfortable.
Faithful Fringe Dweller – You’re still connected to faith, but you stand at the edges of community. You’ve seen too much to sit in the center without wondering if there’s still a place for you.
Healing Heart – You’ve been wounded—maybe by people, maybe by systems—and you’re tending to the slow, holy work of mending. You’re holding hope gently, not wanting it to slip away.
Holy Outsider – You’ve been told you don’t belong, don’t fit, or don’t believe “the right way.” You’ve made peace with your outsider status, but deep down you still long for connection.
Wondering Wanderer – You’re on the move, exploring faith and life from new angles. You’re not afraid to step into unknown places, but you’d love a safe space to land when you need rest.
Tired Pillar – You’ve carried the weight of faith communities for years, but you’re weary from holding it all together. You need permission to set it down and breathe again.
Wherever you are on this list—or even if you’re somewhere in between—there’s room for you here. No performance required. No masks expected.
You Are Welcome Here
However you found your way here, I invite you to pull up a chair.
You may be wandering and weary, but you are worthy—and you are welcome at this table.
Let’s Keep the Conversation Going
This space isn’t just my table—it’s our table. Pull up a chair, grab a cup of something warm, and join the conversation. You can:
Share your story in the comments so we know you’re here
Subscribe so you don’t miss upcoming reflections, Scripture studies, and honest conversations
Invite someone else who needs a seat at a bigger table
