Reclaiming Our Worth: Healing from Religious Trauma
By: Kristen Neighbarger Published on: 18/10/2023If I asked you to think of someone who made you feel small, unworthy, and even broken right now, I’m pretty confident most of us could think of someone: A coach A teacher A parent A frenemy A sibling A partner For some of us, just the thought of that person’s words and treatment is enough to make us shudder and trigger our PTSD. These are the people we try to avoid–the people whose words and treatment of us we are still attempting to heal from and seeking therapy for. Despite the fact that we desperately try to avoid this behavior and these relationships in our personal lives, some of us are sitting in churches every Sunday or have this mindset that constantly reminds us and reinforces to us that we’re broken and unworthy.
Self-Worth: Healthy Relationships
By: Kristen Neighbarger Published on: 12/04/2023I have this parenting rule that says I don’t ever talk to my teenage daughter about weight. We talk about health, eating well, exercising, buying clothes that flatter our bodies, etc. But, I never talk to her about her weight. I know, as a parent, that the number she sees on the scale isn’t important, but I absolutely fail at applying those things to my own life. I fail to the point that whenever she hears me complaining about it, she tells me I need to take my own advice and a dose of my medicine because those aren’t the things we focus on. Eek. What I know to be true is that she is exactly right. Putting that into practice has been more of a challenge though. I don’t think I’m alone. I know there are so many people in this world who have this same struggle, this same intrinsic belief that their self-worth is tied to something extrinsic. Weight Work Finances Societal Success Validation from Others Athleticism Popularity Acceptance The reality, though, is that our self-worth isn’t tied to any of these external things at all. Our self-worth is completely intrinsic, and if we want to be healthy humans with healthy relationships, we have to understand our individual worth.
