Knew When to Walk Away
I looked down at my watch.
8:15 pm.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Russ had been taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes for the last few minutes.
I did that thing us Midwesterners are notorious for–silently made eye contact in an attempt to subconsciously ask if he was ready to go.
Hoping I was reading the signs correctly, I did the next thing us Midwesterners do–slapped both hands down on my legs and said, “Welp, it’s about that time!”
In just a few minutes, we were packing up and heading out the door.
See, there’s something magical about seeing, reading, and understanding the social cues of those around us. I wasn’t always fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who understood these social cues. In fact, for many years, I was close to someone who didn’t understand those social cues at all. Whenever we were together and they started talking to someone, I would get so frustrated and feel so bad because it would be blatantly obvious to me when the other person in the conversation was done talking, but they just never saw it. Never.
Social events were exhausting, and I finally got to the point where I didn’t even want to attend anything social because I dreaded the intricate dance I would have to do to extricate myself from those painful conversations. Plus, I always found myself silently, and sometimes audibly, apologizing for the lack of awareness of my companion.
Have you ever been there?
Do you have anyone in your life who just cannot seem to wrap their head around social cues?
Are you in relationship with anyone who doesn’t understand when a conversation is over?
Have you had the frustration of engaging with folks who just don’t know when it’s time to walk away?
This might surprise some people, but, before Jesus sent the Apostles out to minister, He talked about this very thing. Surprisingly, His message to them was not what some people might expect from Christ. In fact, it was just the opposite of the message we so often receive.
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Ministering to the Receptive
Last week, we looked at the first two verses of Luke 9 where Jesus prepared the Apostles for ministry by imparting them with the authority to drive out demons and the power to heal every disease. We talked about how Jesus focused on preparing the disciples to let their actions show the healing power of the gospel as opposed to simply their words.
Jesus’s words to the Apostles in the next few verses follow His preparation perfectly. Luke records Jesus’s words:
“Take nothing extra on your journey. Just go as you are. Don’t carry a staff, a backpack, food, money, not even a change of clothes. Whatever home welcomes you as a guest, remain there and make it your base of ministry.” Luke 9:3-4 TPT
This is such an interesting part of this story. I’ve always read this through the lens of the Apostles trusting God with their provisions in their ministry. I still believe this reading is valid and important. From a human perspective, though, I think there are layers to this command.
Jesus had just given the Apostles amazing authority and power. I didn’t talk about this last week, but can you even imagine what this manifestation of power must have been like for these guys? I can’t. I can’t even begin to wrap my head around the immense weight and responsibility these men must have felt like they were carrying.
Then, Jesus is essentially like, “Go with God, friends…”!
But, here’s why I think this is so important.
Yes, they needed to trust God with their provisions, but they also needed to utilize discernment in who they were trusting with their ministries.
Do you need a minute for this to sink in?
I did.
Jesus sent these misfits out with immense power and immense responsibility and essentially told them to use discernment in where they go and with whom they stay.
He told them to find the people who would take them in and treat them as guests even though they had nothing more than the clothes on their backs.
Why?
I think this is where the peeling back of layers is important.
They had to choose the people whose hearts, minds, and homes would be open to them.
Essentially, Jesus was saying to his friends–trust God and look for the right people.
Know When to Move On
The last part of this passage is so important, and it’s something I think we tend to read right over or ignore. Jesus tells his Apostles this last thought:
And wherever your ministry is rejected, you are to leave that town and shake the dust off your shoes as a testimony before them. Luke 9:5 TPT
I’ve heard some really negative discussion on this verse, but I love the note on it in the commentary of The Passion Translation. Here’s what it says:
Shaking the dust off their feet would be a statement against the people who had rejected the gospel, the messengers would not be responsible for their fate More than a metaphor, this was an actual custom of the day. However, the words “before them” can also be translated “against them.” Shaking the dust off their feet did not mean they were to stomp off offended and angry, but that they would move on with no defilement or unforgiveness in their hearts toward those who rejected their message. If they did not do that, they would take the “dust” of that offense to the next place they ministered.
I love this idea of the disciples understanding when they weren’t welcome and their message wasn’t received and not responding by being offended or angry. Instead, they would simply move on with no defilement or unforgiveness in their hearts.
What a lofty goal for them and for us as well.
Jesus knew people.
He understood peoples’ hearts.
And, He knew people would only accept Him and the gospel when their hearts were ready.
He couldn’t force them.
The Apostles couldn’t force them.
And, we can’t force them either.
Jesus told the Apostles to find the people who would welcome them as guests but to leave the towns where they were rejected.
Jesus didn’t want the Apostles to risk their time or their safety on people and places who weren’t open to their message.
Interesting, isn’t it?
I talk so much about my experience in high-control religion growing up, and one of the major tenets of my church was the belief we needed to save everyone. Everyone was a mission, and the entire world was our mission field. You might be thinking there’s nothing wrong with this concept. After all, weren’t we called in The Great Commission to go into all nations and make disciples?
The reality of humanity is this–we can’t force someone to accept the gospel, to love God, or to choose Christ.
We can love them.
We can meet their needs.
And, we should.
But, we can’t force them into a relationship with God.
Sometimes, though–too often, though–we forget this. Even when people are clearly ready for us to shake the dust off our shoes and move on, we want to continue the conversation.
This is a hard one.
Loving People First
There’s something Jesus does consistently I always find impressive.
He always sees the person before he sees their soul.
He sees their human needs, and He meets them…first.
Sometimes, though, we do the opposite. We see the soul before we ever see the person–if we ever see the person.
When it comes to ministry in the traditional sense, we have to know when to shake the dust off our shoes and move on, but when it comes to people, we can still love them.
This was a concept I struggled to grasp for so many years because I spent years being taught I needed to save everyone, to over-spiritualize everything in life, and to see every person I met as a mission. I didn’t understand I could love, support, and be friends with people who think differently than me and who aren’t Christians or on the path to becoming Christians.
Just because a person rejects our ministry doesn’t mean we need to love them any less, stop being friends with them, or cut them out of our lives. We can, and should, still love them, still meet their needs, and still see them as people first.
We can love them without shoving Jesus down their throats.
We can shake the dust of ministry off our shoes without abandoning our relationship with them and without completely turning them away from Christ.
Friend, this is a hard one. It’s one we don’t talk about much in faith communities. I pray you have the same discernment that Christ urged the Apostles to have and the same loving heart to see people first as Jesus did.
Reflections:
How do you respond when people reject your ministry?
How well do you practice discernment when it comes to who to minister to?
What are some changes/shifts you need to implement?
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