Intentional Traditions: Home for the Holidays
When I was a kid, I knew what to expect every Christmas. We had very specific traditions that followed me into adulthood:
On Christmas Eve, we went to my grandparents’ house on my mom’s side with my mom’s entire family. We had pizza, read the Christmas story, Santa came with gifts, and my mom passed out pans of cinnamon rolls to each family.
On Christmas Day, we woke up, opened presents, and ate cinnamon rolls before going to my grandparents’ house on my dad’s side for lunch and presents.
On Christmas evening, we went to my aunt’s house to celebrate with her family (the same family we had just spent Christmas Eve with!)
There was little to no deviation in these Christmas Eve and Christmas Day traditions throughout my adolescence and into my early adulthood.
There was comfort in these traditions–comfort in the fact that my family seemed to genuinely get along, liked spending time together, and was committed to continuing these long-established rituals.
It wasn’t until I was in high school and started dating that I began to understand that not every family had such long-standing traditions as my family had or that families can be exceptionally complicated. It wasn’t until then that I saw the challenges that came with divorce and attempting to see everyone and make everyone happy during the holiday season.
Then, when I was in college and began dating my ex-husband, he wouldn’t even drive the two hours to be with his family over the holidays, and my mind was blown.
Now, as I look back on those holiday traditions I grew up with, all I can do is shake my head and chuckle. Holidays began to look a little different when my uncle got divorced years ago, and our Christmas Day lunch at my dad’s parents’ house was determined by what time he would have his kids on Christmas Day.
Then, my aunt’s family grew and grew because her kids had kids who had more kids, and we quit going to her house on Christmas.
Now, my husband and I both have (adult-ish) kids from our first marriages who have other families with other traditions and other commitments, he has divorced parents with other kids and other commitments, and my parents are snowbirds…sigh.
Sometimes, I long for the simplicity of my childhood when it comes to holidays, traditions, and commitments–of knowing exactly where I was going to be, who I was going to be with, and what was expected of me there.
I feel like I’m constantly looking at the calendar, trying to figure out when we can make time for everyone without hurting anyone’s feelings, how I can make it to the Christmas Brunch, the Christmas Bash, the tree lighting, and the Christmas Eve service all while mentally taking inventory to ensure I haven’t forgotten anyone’s presents or stocking stuffers and still trying to be present for my friends and family.
It’s exhausting just thinking about it.
Can I get an amen?
Friends, isn’t it time we slow down a little, remember the simplicity of that first Christmas, and choose intentional holiday traditions for our families and friends?
Photo by Jonathan Borba on Pexels.com
Intentionally Slowing Down
I struggle so much with slowing down during this time of year. For me, I know it stems from several different places:
I don’t want to disappoint anyone.
I grew up in high-control evangelicalism where my worth was tied to my performance and ability to follow rules and do “what I was supposed to do” which made me the queen of all people-pleasers and created this inner struggle with perfectionism while teaching me I had to be selfless.
I don’t want my family to miss out on anything or not have the best Christmas ever.
Your inner struggle with slowing down and creating intentional traditions might look different than mine, but if you are struggling with this, maybe these stories will give you hope, comfort, and the strength you need to make some changes.
Elizabeth and Mary
You can read the full accounts of Elizabeth and Zechariah and Elizabeth and Mary in Luke 1, and you should–because they’re super cool stories! I talked a little about this last week, but I love the camaraderie and bond that exists between Elizabeth and Mary. Here’s Elizabeth–barren her entire marriage until now, but faithful despite the sneers and judgment of those around her–and Mary–a betrothed teenager who just found out she’s a pregnant virgin who’s going to be responsible for raising the son of God.
Both women were living their individual miracles–the weight of the world essentially hung on them–and they chose to be still together. Mary traveled 90 miles to be with her friend, to sit with her as they both prepared for the births of their miracles. They each could have responded so much differently considering the weight of their situations. They chose quiet companionship, though instead of chaos. I’m not sure I would have had the wisdom, strength, of foresight of Mary to just disappear for three months to hold space for my pregnant friend if I had just found out I was pregnant with the Messiah–and unmarried.
Mary stopped, though. She sat with Elizabeth in the majesty that was happening within her and around her.
I can’t help but wonder if that’s not the example we should follow during this season as well.
Maybe we should spend more time quietly sitting in the wonder with those we love instead of contributing to the unnecessary hustle and bustle.
Mary and Martha
I love this story of Mary and Martha. I don’t have a sister, but if I did, I could absolutely see myself in this scene as Martha. Luke records their story as well:
As Jesus and the disciples continued on their journey, they came to a village where a woman welcomed Jesus into her home. Her name was Martha and she had a sister named Mary. Mary sat down attentively before the Master, absorbing every revelation he shared. But Martha became exasperated with finishing the numerous household chores in preparation for her guests, so she interrupted Jesus and said, “Lord, don’t you think it’s unfair that my sister left me to do all the work by myself? You should tell her to get up and help me.”
The Lord answered her, “Martha, my beloved Martha. Why are you upset and troubled, pulled away by all these many distractions? Mary has discovered the one thing most important by choosing to sit at my feet. She is undistracted, and I won’t take this privilege from her.”
Luke 10:38-42 TPT
The holidays tend to bring out the “Martha” in us, don’t they? It’s so easy to get distracted, to become so overwhelmed with the responsibility of doing it all and of creating the perfect traditions that we completely miss the birth and presence of Christ.
I wonder if we need to pause a little more and permit ourselves to sit at Jesus’s feet a little more during these next few weeks.
Photo by Karolina Ostrzolek on Pexels.com
Intentional Traditions
It’s so easy to get completely caught up in the chaos of the holiday season. I know because I’ve been a victim of this over and over again. I hope this year as you face the next few weeks, you can take the time to be still with the friends and family you love and cherish.
I hope you can remember the simplicity of the first Christmas and the importance of sitting at Jesus’s feet instead of being so busy you miss him altogether.
I encourage you to create intentional traditions this year, to say “no” when you need to say “no,” and to permit yourself to take care of yourself amid the holiday hustle and bustle. It’s okay if you don’t see every single family member on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day–they’re just days. The importance of them isn’t tied to a specific date. There’s no reason you can’t celebrate on a different day.
Intentional Traditions–they’re your choice.
Photo by Kristina Paukshtite on Pexels.com
Reflections:
How can you spend more time being still this holiday season?
What traditions do you need to let go of?
What traditions might you need to add?
Have you downloaded your FREE 365 Day Gratitude Journal?
