Desired Commitment
I pulled the steaks off the grill and tented the foil over their plate to let them rest for a few minutes while I put the finishing touches on our dinner.
Russ sat at the bar in the kitchen after being assured repeatedly there was nothing he could do to help. He was chatting away about his day as I listened, pulled the plates out of the cupboard, and grabbed the iced tea out of the refrigerator.
As he was giving me the play-by-play of his day, he said, “Oh, and I was looking at my budget, and I think I can pay my house off early.”
Immediately, I was confused. Even though we weren’t officially engaged yet, we were at the point in our relationship where we knew two things for sure–we were getting married and he was moving into my house.
So, this statement was incredibly perplexing and a bit panic-inducing for me.
Growing up, we were always taught our minds and bodies react one of two ways in dangerous situations: fight or flight.
In more recent years, though, a third option has been added to this list of responses: freeze.
I think it is fair to say I froze completely in this conversation.
I had no idea what to say, let alone how to say it.
I was still trying to figure out what a healthy relationship looked like and how to advocate for myself and my needs, and in this instance, I reverted to the selfless, non-confrontational, agree-to-keep-the-peace person I had been in the past.
Russ went on talking without any clue I was dying on the inside, we finished dinner, had a seemingly lovely evening, and then he went home.
For the rest of the night, I contemplated this entire conversation. I thought we were on the same page. I thought we had the same plan for our future. I thought he was completely committed to our relationship. I couldn’t figure out where our communication had broken down, how I could have been so wrong about our future, or what the heck was even going on for us in our relationship.
A half-hearted commitment wasn’t going to work.
Being the wordy human that I am, I spent hours crafting the perfect text that conveyed my feelings and confusion about our commitment with my honest explanation of what I needed in our relationship. I argued with myself for a bit about sending it because the old, unhealthy me was afraid of the conversation or the consequences of my honesty, but the new, healthy me kept telling the old, unhealthy me that if he didn’t like what I had to say, we weren’t meant to be anyway.
Finally, I sent the text.
And, I waited.
Within just a couple of minutes, the little bubbles showed up on my text, and I waited, trying not to have a panic attack.
Soon, his response came in the form of a heartfelt apology for causing me so much anxiety and grief. He explained it was never his intention and he was just so excited when he looked at his budget and the amount of money he could put toward his mortgage that he didn’t even think about the fact that he would be selling before he could pay it off.
After a sleepless night and oodles of stress, I could breathe again understanding we were both fully committed to our relationship.
It’s easy for us to believe wholeheartedly that we need to be all-in when it comes to our romantic relationships or even our close friendships and relationships with our immediate family members. I’m not sure it’s always so cut and dried for us when it comes to our spiritual relationships and commitments.
Sometimes, I think we all struggle with the all-in commitment Christ asked us to have.
Jesus Teaches the Masses About Commitment
We’re in the middle of this series out of Luke where we look at what Jesus DID while He was here on earth. Today, we’re in chapter 9 after Jesus fed the 5,000. This is how Luke records Jesus’s teachings and how the Amplified Bible translates them:
And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to follow Me [as My disciple], he must deny himself [set aside selfish interests], and take up his cross daily [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me]. Luke 9: 23 AMP
I don’t always use the Amplified Bible in my writing because sometimes it gets a little cumbersome. There are times, though, when a little more detail on what the original text was saying is super beneficial. This is definitely one of those times.
Prior to this message, Jesus had just asked His disciples who people say He is. Then, He asked Peter who he thought Jesus was. Luke doesn’t record these extra details, but if you read the same account in Matthew, this is where Jesus tells Peter he is the rock on which the church will be built. You can find it in Matthew 16:13-20.
For context, Jesus fed the 5,000, then He was off praying quietly and asked His disciples who people thought He was before asking who they thought He was. Ultimately, He ended this conversation by telling them not to tell anyone He was the Messiah yet because the religious leaders (members of the Sanhedrin) would eventually kill Him, and He would rise from the dead three days later.
It was a lot.
Right?
A lot.
But, it’s so important because of what Jesus tells everyone next–not just His Apostles, but everyone. He tells them all what they must do to become His disciple, and this is where the AMP is amazing:
Deny yourself–Set aside your selfish interests
Take up your cross daily–Be willing to endure whatever may come
Follow Jesus–Believing in Him, conforming to His example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Him
Here’s why I think the way this chapter is structured is so stinkin’ cool. First, Jesus miraculously fed the 5,ooo, meeting their literal, physical needs and showing his Godly power. Then, He went to quietly pray with His Disciples and clarify what this Godly power meant. Then, He told them about the dangers He was facing. Finally, after showing who He was and why the religious leaders wanted to kill Him, He calls them to action.
Talk about painting the whole picture for them.
These are some important details, and Jesus doesn’t hold them back.
He wanted them to know what a commitment to be His disciple would mean.
The Reality of This Commitment
After Jesus defined what it meant to be His disciple, He explained why the commitment looked this way.
…For whoever wishes to save his life [in this world] will [eventually] lose it [through death], but whoever loses his life [in this world] for My sake, he is the one who will save it [from the consequences of sin and separation from God]. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world [wealth, fame, success], and loses or forfeits himself? For whoever is ashamed [here and now] of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory and the glory of the [heavenly] Father and of the holy angels. But I tell you truthfully, there are some among those standing here who will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:24-27 AMP
It’s so easy for us to read this literally, but I want to look at this figuratively for a minute. First, Jesus told them if they wanted to save their lives, they would eventually lose them, but if they gave up their life for Him, they would save it. For them, and for some folks today, there’s a literal threat of death for following Christ. For most of us, though, this isn’t about physical death at all.
It’s about our selfishness and our earthly desires.
If we live for our selfishness and our earthly desires, we’re surely going to be dominated by them. But, if we can commit to following Christ and abandoning our selfishness and desires, we’ll have life in Christ.
But, He doesn’t stop there. It’s like a 1-2 punch because he adds how selfishness and our desires can result in us gaining wealth, fame, and success, but it can easily cause us to lose ourselves.
Let me put this another way: We can easily become selfish, and we can unknowingly find ourselves completely committed to worshipping wealth, fame, and success instead of worshipping God.
And, that worship is a recipe for disaster.
What Jesus Says about Commitment
If we want to truly understand what Jesus was saying to the masses here, I think we really need to look at the entirety of this message. First, He says:
Set aside selfish interests
Endure whatever comes
Believe in Him
Conform to His example in living, suffering or perhaps dying
What does this mean for us?
Something simple, yet extremely difficult: we have to commit to abandoning our selfishness and be like Jesus.
Being like Jesus means:
Loving the least of these
Offering unconditional hope and healing
Feeding the hungry
Getting close enough to touch the misfits and the marginalized
Praying for those who persecute you
Turning the cheek
Loving your enemies
Just to name a few…
This commitment looks like giving up our selfishness and our selfish desires for fame, wealth, success, and position so we can love, serve, and heal others.
This is a tough one, isn’t it?
Sometimes, I think we’re all guilty of wanting the perks of the relationship without the sacrifice of commitment. We want the steak dinners, but we don’t want to give up our plan to pay off our house.
Anyone else feeling a bit convicted by this today?
Commitment in the Real World
I love this scripture because Jesus is so clear about how it’s His desire for us to conform to His example.
Conforming to His example isn’t easy, though, is it?
When God first started nudging me to write this series, I had no idea I would spend…the entire year…in the book of Luke. I’ve been in church my whole life, so I thought I was pretty competent in what Jesus did when He was here on earth.
The more I study, though, the more I see how my view of who Jesus was and what He did while He was here was still steeped in church theology and not Scriptural accounts. What the accounts of Jesus tell me about what He did while He was here on earth revolve around this: offering hope, healing, grace, and life to everyone His life intersected with.
I don’t know about you, but I find myself wondering if I can say I’m doing the same things.
Am I offering hope, healing, grace, and life–especially to the least of these?
Jesus was clear about His desire for our commitment to not only believing in Him but to conforming to the example He set in the way He lived His life.
We need to offer hope, healing, grace, and life to others, and especially to the least of these.
Everywhere.
My prayer for you this week, friend, is that God will open your heart and eyes to see what this looks like in your life and that His voice will be louder than any others.
Reflections:
How would you describe your commitment level based on Christ’s definition?
What is your biggest struggle in committing in this way?
Why do you think Christ said we have to give up our selfish desires for wealth, fame, and success to commit to Him?
