Are THEY Really My Neighbor
Are THEY Really My Neighbor? Lessons from the Good Samaritan
I was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook when a reel about ADHD tics popped up. Unlike many people, I don’t usually watch reels. I’m not one of those who gets sucked into the endless scroll of social media, only to emerge hours later.
But for some reason, this particular video caught my eye.
As I watched, I kept thinking, “Well, that can’t be true. I do that all the time.” The reel showcased seemingly random behaviors that people with ADHD supposedly exhibit. I found myself scratching my head and pursing my lips.
Because I do them all.
Every. Single. One.
Later, when Russ and Kate were in the truck with me, I shared my outrage over the reel’s absurd claims.
It got very quiet in the truck.
Neither of them made eye contact.
Cautiously, Kate said, “I mean, Mom, you absolutely have ADD tendencies.”
Shocked, I began to argue as Russ looked over, tilted his head, screwed up his nose, and cautiously muttered, “Yeah, you do…”
They weren't wrong.
Growing Up With Creative Thinking
Here’s the thing: I grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s during the heyday of gifted and talented programming and creative problem-solving initiatives like Odyssey of the Mind. Even if I don’t have a medical diagnosis of ADD, I feel like my training to think outside the box instilled those tendencies in me.
As a result of all this programming, I developed one extremely valuable—but sometimes dangerous—life skill: the ability to creatively find loopholes in everything.
Sadly, do you know who else was really good at finding loopholes?
The Pharisees.
As a recovering Pharisee myself, I understand how this skill can be dangerously applied to spiritual ideas.
For my friends reconstructing their faith or healing from spiritual abuse, you’ve likely seen these loopholes exploited within the church.
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
The Loophole Mentality in Faith
One of the most famous loophole seekers appears in Luke 10:25-29 (TPT):
Just then a religious scholar stood before Jesus to test His doctrines. He asked, “Teacher, what must I do to live forever in heaven?”
Jesus replied, “What do you read in the Law? How do you understand it?”
The scholar answered, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, passion, energy, and thought. And love your neighbor as yourself.”
Jesus said, “Correct. Now go and do exactly that, and you will live.”
Wanting to justify himself, the scholar asked, “What do you mean by ‘my neighbor’?”
I can hear the tone of his voice because I’ve used that same tone before. I picture him tilting his head, squinting his eyes, and skeptically asking, “But really, who is my neighbor?”
Are We Asking the Same Question Today?
Today, I see people—inside and outside the church—subconsciously and even consciously asking God the same question: “But are THEY really my neighbor?” Or worse, they aren’t asking at all, treating others as anything but neighbors.
Most of us know the Parable of the Good Samaritan by heart.
A Jewish man is robbed, beaten, and left in a ditch. A priest and a Levite walk past him. But a Samaritan stops, cares for his wounds, and pays for his recovery.
Translating the Parable Today
Imagine this:
You’re out to dinner with your Jesus-loving friends. On your way home, you're attacked and left for dead. Your pastor walks by, sees you, and crosses to the other side. Then, one of your church friends does the same.
Now here’s where it gets uncomfortable.
The person who stops to help you is someone you might despise—someone society has taught you to see as "other."
Today, that Samaritan might be:
A Muslim
A Democrat
A minority
An immigrant
An LGBTQ+ individual
A woman
A pro-choice supporter
A BLM protestor
Before clutching any pearls, consider the tension between Jews and Samaritans. They despised each other for religious and racial reasons, dating back to Jacob.
Photo by Artem Maltsev on Unsplash
The Challenge of Unconditional Love
So, imagine being beaten and left for dead. Your trusted pastor or friend walks away, but the person you’ve judged the most shows you unconditional love and mercy.
What does Jesus say next?
“Which of these three proved to be a true neighbor?”
The religious scholar responded, “The one who demonstrated kindness and mercy.”
Jesus said, “Go and do the same.” — Luke 10:36-37 TPT
Breaking the Habit of Loopholes
I struggle to understand why we so often ignore or add strings to this command.
Growing up in church, excuses for not loving others rested in their perceived sins or the misapplied idea of being in the world but not of it.
As I’ve deconstructed and reconstructed my faith, I realize this:
The Samaritan was not one of God’s chosen people. In the Jewish man’s eyes, he was sinful and dirty by default.
Yet, he showed kindness and mercy.
And Jesus commands, “Go and do the same.”
To all the people we see as different or sinful.
Because they’re our neighbors.
A Challenge for This Week
Friend, my prayer for you is to stop asking, “But are THEY really my neighbor?” Stop creating loopholes in this commandment and start living it fully—even when those around you aren’t.
You’ve got this.
Reflections to Consider:
What’s your biggest hurdle when it comes to loving others?
How do the people around you demonstrate love for others?
Which neighbors do you struggle with loving the most?
