Church Boundaries: Healthy Relationships
By: Kristen Neighbarger Published on: 31/05/2023My name is Kristen, and I’m a recovering serve-aholic It’s taken me several years to be able to unravel the threads and get to the roots of my serving addiction, but I finally arrived at these core beliefs I’ve spent the last few years attempting to unlearn: If I didn’t do it, who would do it? If I didn’t do it, someone would be disappointed in me. If I didn’t do it, it wouldn’t get done well. If I didn’t do it, I would be letting people down. If I didn’t do it, my church would suffer. If I didn’t do it, God would be disappointed in me. If I didn’t do it, God would punish me. If I didn’t do it, I wasn’t being like Jesus. If I didn’t do it, people would think I was lazy, not committed, and selfish. Honestly, this list could go on and on. As I think back over the years I spent killing myself through serving, it’s almost laughable to me now because, seriously, what the heck was I even thinking?
Partner Boundaries: Healthy Relationships
By: Kristen Neighbarger Published on: 17/05/2023When I first started dating my forever husband Russ, God and I had spent a whole lot of time together discussing what I needed and desired in a husband. I was armed with God’s direction and a fierce spirit committed to never experiencing a toxic, dysfunctional romantic relationship again. Thankfully, Russ met me on equal ground because he had also been through the wringer with marriage and committed himself to the same goals as I had. We had, and still have, the hard conversations. Communication is the key to healthy boundaries (and relationships–but that’s another post).
Boundaries in the Bible: Healthy Relationships
By: Kristen Neighbarger Published on: 03/05/2023If you’ve been around here for a while, then you know that I grew up in a very legalistic evangelical verging on fundamental church, I married (the first time) very young. Through the process of leaving the evangelical church, deconstructing my beliefs, reconstructing my beliefs, and the chaos that is life, I’ve realized that Jesus does not want me to be a doormat. That’s the furthest thing from who Jesus was or what he taught. Jesus doesn’t want you to be a doormat either. In fact, the more I’ve studied and lived, the more I’ve come to realize that boundaries aren’t just some man-made concept a psychologist came up with to punish people. They are the furthest thing from that when implemented well.
Holiday Boundaries: Taking Action
By: Kristen Neighbarger Published on: 21/12/2022If you have set a boundary for the sake of yourself and your family, and other people react negatively, you have no control over that, but you want to be able to walk away from those conversations and those situations knowing that you did the right things– You were true to your needs. You approached the situation and conversation with gentleness and kindness. You were loving. You didn’t throw a temper tantrum or seek revenge.
